https://www.facebook.com/DestroyTheJoint
I have been thinking more about gendered violence since the news of missing woman, Samantha Murphy near Ballarat. While every disappearance and murder of women is a despicable and shocking act of betrayal, this one has hit a nerve for many of us. I understand that the portrayal of crimes in the news affects how we perceive it. The fact that she is white, good looking and athletic all play a role here. In addition, it is unnerving that a woman can disappear without a trace in an age of ubiquitous camera surveillance.
The statistics on gendered violence are horrifying. At least one woman a week is murdered in Australia and one in two women have experienced sexual harassment in their lifetime. And this in a country which takes pride in the ethos of equality. I have yet to meet a woman who hasn’t experienced a harassment from men. As I write this, I feel the need to defend my position as I know some men will feel outrage and tarred with a broad brush. Of course, I know there are decent men but this post isn’t about mollifying egos. I am not saying that one in two men harass women, I am saying one in two women are harassed by men. Big difference.
One interesting consequence of growing older as a woman is that we often feel we have become invisible. Neither men nor women take notice of us past a certain age and while at first this can come as a bit of a shock, it eventually becomes liberating. At 51, many women would begin to feel this way. Samantha Murphy’s disappearance has struck a chord with older women, making them painfully aware of their vulnerability. By our 50s many of us feel much safer in the world and we worry more about our daughters.
I have had my share of harassment and instances of low-level violations like unwanted touching, groping and forced tongues into my mouth by men much older than me when I was a teenager. Nothing too horrendous, but these experiences made me distrustful and hyper-vigilant. I have a self-imposed curfew; I won’t walk in unlit places at night, and I still rarely go out at night by myself. While I am a strong advocate for ‘reclaim the night’, I am filled with trepidation for my daughter, who remains resolute in not allowing herself to be intimidated.
This Friday is International Women’s Day. It is a day to celebrate how far we have come but also to remember how far there is to go. It is a day when my thoughts will be with Samantha Murphy and the many other women we have lost to gendered violence. It is a day when ‘we remember that as long as one woman faces discrimination, harassment, inequality or oppression, we all do.’ https://iwda.org.au/
From Quill to Quote 